


Fade Away

by orphan_account



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn ??
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-17 14:49:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10596240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Hannah Baker never left Clay. He has been hallucinating her since she killed herself a month ago. His only escape is when he's with Tony, his only way to move on is with Tony. And maybe he develops feeling along the way.





	1. i

clay

"You killed me"

Hannah is here, she sits on her grave, wrists cut open and dead. Yet she is here, talking to me.

I know she can't really be here, but that doesn't stop me from believed every word that passes her lips. It is true, what she said, I killed Hannah Baker.

Standing up from the bench I walk over to her, she looks real, like she is here again. Almost as if I reach forward I can grab her. But I can't it's my fault and I know it.

When I get home I got straight to bed, I don't even bother taking my shoes off. She's still here, sitting in my desk chair now. She follows me everywhere, reminding me of what I did to her. 

The only peace I get from her is with Tony. He doesn't make her disappear he just distracts me, makes her fade away the smallest bit. He doesn't know that I see her, or that I use him to get away.

\- 

Tony's car pulls up as I walk out of school. I swear that man still stalks me. I'm okay with that, it's nice to know he cares. He just expresses it differently.

"Hey man, want a ride?" He says as he pulls up next to me.

"He likes you. Stupid him. You will ruin him" Hannah has become meaner as time goes on. "Thanks but I have my bike" I start. 

Hannah has an influence on me. "Come on Clay, I want to take you somewhere anyways." Tony says giving his puppy eyes.

And yeah I gave in even if what Hannah said is true, who can resist Tony's puppy eyes.

We walk up the trail leading to the cliff. I should never give into Tony's puppy eyes. "I'm not climbing that again" I tell him "on time was enough thrill for me."

"Don't lie, you love the thrill" Tony smiles playfully bumping my shoulder. I like Tony, maybe I'm not using him as much as I think I am. Or maybe I only like him because he makes her fade away.

Once we make it to the top of the cliff the sun has started to go down. "Wow Tony, how romantic,"  
He smiles looking at the sky. It is really beautiful. "So, why did you want to come here?" Good job Clay, that sounded really nice.

Tony doesn't answer for a minute but he is looking at me instead of the sky now. "To talk to you, isn't this the place where we talk." He's right the cliff has become a place for just us to be together. 

"Something's wrong Clay, I know you probably better than you know yourself, I know when you're now okay." I should tell him about Hannah, he deserves to know. 

"He's going to think you're crazy" she laughs devilishly, like I said she is never completely gone. I want to say something to her, tell her Tony would understand but then he would really think I'm mad. But I don't instead I lie to the person I care about. "I'm fine Tony. I'm just being my normal messed up self" I laugh so I sound lighthearted.

"Okay Clay, whatever you say." He knows I'm lying, he doesn't realize I know him just as much as he knows me. 

"Well if your not going to talk we should head to my house, you're staying over tonight."


	2. ii

tony

 

Clay fell asleep on the ride to my house. He looks calm for the first time in along time, his chest rising and falling as he drools slightly. 

I chuckle quietly, he is very beautiful. As much as I hate to admit it I broke up with Brad because of my feelings for Clay. 

He pulls me out of my thoughts as he begins to stir awake. "Well hello sleeping beauty" he smiles wiping the drool off his face, "I'm sorry I just haven't got much sleep lately." Without thinking I grab his hand in a comforting gesture.

When we pull up to my house we are still holding hands, and Clay is obviously trying to hide his smile. "Are you hungry I can make you something" I suggest as we walk in, everyone else has already went to bed so it's silent. "I'm okay, I just want to go to bed" I nod leading him upstairs and to my room.

He quickly takes off his shoes and jeans and falls onto my bed, "you're going to wake everyone up" I shush him. He gives me a lazy smile, his eyes already starting to close. I crawl into bed with him and he snuggles close to me as he falls asleep.

A month ago I would have found this strange but Clay has been sleeping at my house almost more than he sleeps at his own since Hannah died. I pull him closer whispering a quiet goodnight as I fall asleep.

 

Clay sits up quickly waking me up. He's panting and has tears streaming down his face. I pull him into a hug trying to calm him down. I stay there holding Clay in my arms until he stops crying, "I'm sorry for waking you up Tony" "it's okay" I say kissing the top of his head. 

"Take off your shirt" I say standing up. I most have scared the poor boy because he looks like a deer in headlights, "w-what?" He starts, "jeez Clay not like that, your shirt stinks you can borrow one of mine." He laughs as his cheeks turn bright pink, at least a got a laugh out of him. 

I checked the clock as he puts on one of my shirts, it reads 5:00 a.m. Deciding we aren't going back to sleep I throw him my jacket and drag him out the window so we can sit on the roof. "You're going to freeze your ass off without a jacket Tony" "I'm fine Clay. You look cute in my jacket anyway." I smile at him, everything is so calm in this moment I almost forget about everything going on. 

"Clay you need to talk to me" I say realizing he still hasn't told me what's going on with him. "I know you're not okay. You can't hide this stuff from me." For a minute he watches the sun rise, almost trying to think of an excuse to get out of my questioning. So I pull him closer to me, wrapping my arms around his body "it's okay. I promise whatever it is we will deal with it together."

He rest his head on my shoulder, "I see her, Hannah, she's everywhere I go. She blames me Tony, she told me I killed her." Clay starts sobbing for the second time today, and again I can't take away his pain, all I can do is hold him and tell him it will be alright.

-

Once we heard everyone downstairs we decided to join them. "Tony's boyfriend is here!" My brother yells as we walk downstairs. Clay quickly turns to me "Brad's here? I can leave I don't want t-" "Clay he's talking about you" I laugh cutting him off. "Brad and I broke up. He's just teasing."

His cheeks turn red as he looks down in embarrassment. "Hola mama" I say his her on the cheek as I walk into the kitchen, "mi hijo! Oh you brought Clay how lovely" I don't know how loves Clay more me or my family. As we sit for breakfast the teasing began. "So what are the love birds doing today?" My sister asks looking at Clay and I, "Well I should probably get Clay home soon, he can only wear my clothes for so long" I say ignoring the 'love birds' comment.

"Yeah like you totally don't like me wearing your clothes" he teases, a huge smile plastered on his face. "No I just wanted you to change so I could see you shirtless" I joke completely forgetting my family is listening to everything. My dad clears his throat pulling us out of our conversation, I apologize and excuse myself to take Clay home.

Once we pull up to his house neither of us want to separate. "You can come in you know" and god I really wanted to. I wanted to spend the whole day with Clay but I can't. "I'm sorry I wish I could buddy, but I have to help my dad at the shop." I lie giving a kiss on the cheek before he gets out "Call me if you need anything." Clay doesn't need to know what I'm really doing, nobody does.

By the end of the day my body hurt and I just wanted to go to sleep. I start to wonder how Clay is doing as I drive home, he hasn't been doing very well since Hannah's death it really worries me. As I pull up to my house I try to push my worries for Clay aside, looking in the mirror I notice I have a black eye. Good job Tony that definitely not noticeable. 

-

I wear sunglasses to school the next day hoping Clay won't say anything. Of course that doesn't happen, he pulls my sun glasses off as soon as we walk inside saying something about how only assholes wear sunglasses indoors. Gasping as he sees my black eye he quickly goes into comfort mode. "Tony what happened?" He asked cradling my face in his hands. 

"Nothing I accidentally hit myself in the face. Now would you quit treating me like a child" I say swatting his hand away. "Wow that's you excuse? You hit yourself now that I definitely believe"

"Hey Tony, that was pretty awesome last night" Bryce says patting me on the shoulder. "Don't touch me" I warn trying to look intimidating, "why what are you going to do? Beat me up too?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it, it's a little longer than the last on at least. Also any Spanish was from Google translate because they don't teach us Spanish in Canada so I hope it's not wrong.


	3. iii

clay

 

"Tony, you need to calm down," I grab his arm trying to pull him away from Bryce. 

"Wow Clay you really have a taste in crazies" I know Hannah would never say these things. I glare at her.

My grip on Tony loosened while I was paying attention to Hannah, he punches Bryce in the jaw sending Bryce stumbling back. 

I can't help but smile at bit, Bryce deserves it. I look over at Hannah as Tony swings at him again she looks just as happy. 

"Tony, that's enough" I say pulling him back before he can get hit. "Let's go, you need to cool off"

I drag him to his car Hannah still following right behind us. "What the hell Tony? You can't just freak out like that" I yell at him.

"You have no idea what you're talking about Jensen" he's obviously mad I pulled him away. "Yeah not shit Tony! You won't tell me ever thing" I yell back getting anger at him.

He gets into his car slamming the door without another word. I watch as he drives away cooling off a bit, I shouldn't have yelled at him but he shouldn't be getting into fights.

"Wow Clay, you just drive everyone away don't you." I never thought I would be getting mad at Hannah but this isn't Hannah, right?

" Would you just leave me alone. I don't need this shit right now" I yell at her. I would look like a mad man if anyone saw me. 

-

Hannah and I sit on my bed, I'm trying to ignore her as awful as it sounds. 

"You know that little boyfriend of yours must be dead." She says only adding to my anxiety. 

Nobody has seen Tony since he drove away. I know this can't just be about some small argument. 

"Hannah why are you here?" I just want her to leave. I want to be here with Tony, not some evil version of Hannah.

"I'm here because of you stupid. Your mind is just imagining me to tell you the things you won't accept." Yeah well my brain can fuck off. 

I try to phone Tony again, when he doesn't pick up I start to pace around my room. Maybe Hannah was right, what if he got into an accident or did something to himself.

I hear a tap on my window, quickly walking over to it and opening it. But Tony wasn't the one that climbed into my room, "Brad? What the hell are you doing here? How do you even know where I live?"

"That doesn't matter right now Clay. Have you seen this?" He throws me his phone. There is a video of Tony beating the shit out of a unrecognizable person.

"What the fuck Brad? Where is Tony? Is he alright?" I wonder if this is what Bryce was talking about earlier.

"His brothers found him drunk. He's home now so don't worry."

-

Yeah so I still worried, I'm Clay Jensen what do you expect? Now I'm riding my bike across town at 3 a.m trying to get to Tony as fast as possible. 

When I get there I climb up to his window, opening it quietly. Climbing into his room I find him sleeping in his desk chair.

"Tony" I whisper yell shaking him slightly, "Tony wake up I can't carry you to your bed." He starts to stir and I sigh in relief.

"Clay, mi alma, ¿Qué haces aquí?" He says still drunk. "Come on Tony, let's get you to bed. And we are talking about this tomorrow. In English." I say not knowing what he had said.

I lay him on his bed and start to pull his boots and jeans off. Trying not to think of the awkwardness I sit on his bed rubbing his back until he starts close his eyes.

"You really ruin everything you touch Clay" with everything going on I almost forgot about her. "Please go away, I can't deal with this right now" I tell her.

"Clay, who are you talking to" Tony slurs, "can you see her right now?" I climb into bed with him holding him close, "don't worry about it okay? Let's just get some sleep."

"Okay good night mi alma" he says kissing me before falling asleep. What the hell. Tony Padilla just kissed me?

He probably thought I was Brad, and he won't remember this by morning anyway. I try to fall asleep but I can't stop thinking about that kiss.

It was just a small peck, it meant nothing but it makes me want to kiss him again.

-

I wake up to Tony groaning, I look at his shirtless body and notice all the bruises I didn't see last night. He looked awful, his jaws and eye badly bruised along with a cut across his cheek.

Rushing to the bathroom I grab aspirin and a first aid kit. "Okay sit up, I'm going to clean you cut" I tell him handing him the aspirin.

"Thanks nurse Clay." He says smiling, "you got anything to get rid of the guilt I feel from yesterday?"

"I think the only cure of that is a cup or hot chocolate for Monet's" I tell him, now finished cleaning his cut. "Can we sneak out the window, I don't want to have to talk to my family yet?"

We walk into Monet's finding a table in the corner. Skye sees us and walks over, "hey guys, that was some fight hey? What that guy do anyway?" "You saw that?" Tony says looking embarrassed, "yeah, I'm pretty sure Bryce sent the video to everyone in the school" She tells him.

"That little bastard, I'm going to kill him" he says his hands already clenched. "Tony!" I warn, "now is not the time, as much as I would love to see you beat his ass."

Skye looks uncomfortable in this situation, "so what can I get you guys? On the house."

When we get our hot chocolates we are silent for a few minutes, unsure of where to start. "So what happened the other day? What was Bryce talking about?" I ask breaking the silence.

He sighs knowing he will have to give in. "I didn't want to tell you but there have been some people who have not been talking shit about you for hanging out with me. Because they think we are dating."

 

"So you beat them up? Tony thank you but I can take care of by self." "No Clay you don't understand, they had planned on hurting you. You know I would never let that happen."

People wanted to hurt me? Who are they? All these thoughts rush through my brain overwhelming me. "It's okay now, nobody is going to hurt you I took care of it." He reassures. 

"Did you get into another fight last night while you were drunk?" I ask, "I honestly can't remember anything from last night Clay." 

Oh. "Do you remember kissing me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel awful writing Hannah as the bad guy because I absolutely love her, but that's just the story. Idk if any of the Spanish is correct so tell me if you know. Also my tumblr is ethansdumb if you want to send me one shot prompts or just what ever, anyways love you <3


	4. iv

clay

Tony blushes. He doesn't say anything he just looks down. "Tony?" "I'm so sorry Clay, I'm sorry if I did anything to ruin our friendship."

Ruin our friendship? He really thinks him kissing me changed everything? Well it did but that is besides the point. "Tony don't stress it, really"

He nods slightly, "so did you like it?" He asks trying to make things less awkward. I wiggle my eyebrows at him grinning. "Sure Tony, your lips are quite soft" I laugh.

He blushes harder, it's a pretty sight. "Okay enough of this. Let's go I'm taking you somewhere," he tells my dragging my to his car. "Tony where are you taking my? Are you kidnapping me?"

"Clay you just willingly got into my car." Yeah Tony that's because I would let you kidnap me.

-  
"A drive-in theatre Tony? How romantic," I'm actually excited but he doesn't need to know that. "I try. Shh now the movie is starting." It most be a movie he loves based on how his eyes light up.

It's been almost an hour and the movie ended up being boring. But I was right Tony loves it. I grab Tony's hands, fiddling with his rings. "Tony is this a date?"

Tony looks down at our hands, "I don't know Clay, do you want this to be a date?" I shrug and try to pay attention to the stupid movie. He squeezes my hand and does the same. 

We are driving back to my house, neither of us have said much since I said that. Stupid stupid Clay. "Clay," Tony finally say breaking the silence, "are you gay?"

The silence seems nice now. I mean how do I answer that I don't even know my sexuality. "Not fully, bi maybe? I never put much thought into it" I tell him truthfully. 

He only nods as we pull up to my house. "Goodbye Tony" I tell him kissing his cheek quickly.

-

"Hey Clay," Tony says as I get into his car after school. "Hey" I greet kissing his cheek again, he didn't seem to have a problem with it last time. 

He quickly tries to hide his blush, "so what's the plan for today?" I ask, "I have to go work on the car, but you can join I use some company."

Tony bends over the hood of his car working on whatever it is. He has tried to explain it three times but it still makes zero sense. He's lucky he looks hot covered in grease.

"Clay, stop looking at my ass and come help me," he says handing me some tool. "Es fácil mi amado"  
He says, "that's not fair you could be say how awful I am at this for all I know."

He smiles "how did you know that's what I said?" "Asshole" I mumble try to follow Tony's instructions, I still don't know what I'm doing.

By the time we are done its late and we both look awful, Tony suggested I sleep here tonight. After showering I change into a pair of his sweatpants that don't quite fit right. 

He didn't offer me a shirt so I sit on his bed freezing cold waiting for his to get out of the shower. He walked out in only a towel and my brain turns to putty. 

After changing he climbs into bed with me, "Jesus Clay you're freezing," yeah no shit Tony. "You didn't give me a shirt," he smiles pulling the blanket up more.

"No need for a shirt when you got me," he pulls my into him spooning me. "Tony why am I the little spoon? You're smaller" "I am not little spoon material Clay."

We bicker about who is which spoon for almost an hour before he falls asleep. I lay awake listening to Tony breathing, is that weird? My mind is racing about everything when I realized I haven't seen Hannah in two days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly this was awful and short AND took forever to write so I promise next chapter will be better. Thanks for reading <3

**Author's Note:**

> I have never wrote before so I know this is not the best. But I hope you still liked it because the clony tag is dead. Next chapter will be out soon, it will definitely be longer.


End file.
